Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Moloid Cyborgs

Tired of seeing his minions get their ass handed to them, the Mole Man decided to use his vast resources to create an elite team of Moloid warriors. Using some seriously injured moloids and an assortment of tractor parts purchased at a yard sale (it is a little known fact that the Mole Man loves a good yard sale) the Mole Man created the Moleborgs, an unholy fusion of subterranean humanoids and bulky robotics.
 It didn't work out, on their first combat mission the Moleborgs suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of an unknown mexican wrestler (perhaps the Eternal known as El Vampiro). Given the expense of repairs the Mole Man decided to retire the team from active duty. However should their master ever find suitable replacement parts at a yard sale or on ebay the Moleborgs will no doubt return to menace the surface world.
Only known photo of the Moleborgs

Monday, August 8, 2011

Dr. Phibes

 A lot of people want revenge and some of them even get it, but nobody ever got revenge with as much style as Dr. Phibes. Tonight you get a Dr. Phibes token and a Phibes feat card so you can attack your opponent with some damn class.

Friday, July 29, 2011


Remember when vampires were monsters? Blacula was that kind of vampire, yeah he could be classy and sophisticated, but he was a monster. People act like Blacula is some kind of joke now days, but I bet it wouldn't be so damn funny if he was standing behind you right now.
Here's a token for Blacula (Prince Mamuwalde if you know him personally), put him on the board and remind everybody that real vampires are monsters.
And here's one of Blacula's minions  as a bonus.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Omega Man

The Omega Man, was it Charlton Heston's greatest role? Maybe not, but Lieutenant Colonel Robert Neville was a 100%  badass; greasing albino plague victims in a hail of bullets while wearing a velvet smoking jacket. He could have left anytime during the day without a problem, just packed up his shit and moved to the country. But he preferred to stay and fight it out with those scabby bastards on a nightly basis, because it was his home and nobody was going to make him leave it. That's real guts my friend, that's the kind of guts you could only find in the bronze age.

Seeing as how the Omega Man was easily twice the badass of most normal heroes, here's two tokens to represent him.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Adventure Team daydream

G.I. Joe, no doubt as soon as you read those words it conjures images into your mind. G.I. Joe means a lot of different things for different people, mainly depending on your age. For me it means the 12 inch G.I. Joe Adventure Team action figures, the greatest line of toys ever produced in my opinion. So if your idea of G.I. Joe involves Cobra, Ninjas, or robot power armor, you may as well skip this and go into the bathroom to pleasure yourself staring at your mint condition Baroness figure or Shipwreck if that's your thing (and there's nothing wrong that).

The Adventure Team figures were probably the most macho bastards ever to stand on a toy shelf. Look at those rugged full beards and badass utilitarian coveralls, that says you are serious about adventure because you aren't worried about grooming or fashion. No super powers or secret ninja mind tricks either, the Adventure Team got by on intelligence, training, and just plain old balls. I think during the 90's they did some sort of reissue of 12 inch Joes and were trying to draw in some money with nostalgia. But it didn't work for me, the original G.I. Joe Adventure Team had a kind of ruggedness that couldn't exist beyond the 1970's.

Here's a list of reasons you could never be on the G.I. Joe Adventure Team:

You are not a Man.

You have knowingly purchased an exfoliating soap.

You can't grow a full beard.

You freeze when attacked by an enraged white tiger.

You can't change a tire.

You are incapable of stealth even when wearing a black turtleneck and toboggan.

There are lots more but I can't think of them right now. So here's a heroclix token of G.I. Joe Adventure Team Commander, you probably won't like it because he doesn't have a samurai sword or a parrot on his shoulder.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Blue Falcon

Responding to a special request from The Unusual Stranger *Super Unusual Theater*(who took time out from hosting horror movies and battling hideous monstrosities that seek to devour us all) here's a token for The Blue Falcon. Will there be one for Dynomutt? I don't know, I always liked the Blue Falcon, at times he was the closest thing to a real superhero on saturday morning tv, but Dynomutt could be irritating.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Bronze Age Heroes

The Bronze Age was a time of heroes, and I'm talking real heroes, men who said what they meant and backed it up. One such titan was Evel Knievel, he inspired every kid in America to get a piece of plywood, build a ramp and wreck a bicycle trying to jump over a tonka truck or his sister's Barbie RV. Evel Knievel was the ultimate badass too, nobody ever shot their mouth off to Evel because they knew he would knock the hell out of them.

Now in this modern era we have bullshit like "Extreme Eating Competitions" and some facebook blowhard or twittering dickweed might say, "Big deal, all he did was jump motorcycles over salvage vehicles". Oh yeah? Well think about this, keyboard commando; every time Evel got on that bike to do a jump he was literally risking his life, not a bad case of diarrhea from stuffing 75 soggy hot dogs down his gut.

To honor this hero of the Bronze Age here's a custom heroclix token, put it on the board and show some neckbeard how a real hero does the job.